Have you ever thought to yourself, “If I just lose 10lbs my life will be better.” Or “If I lost weight, I could finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend.” Or “I can get that promotion if I just lose the weight!” If you have, you have most likely been a victim to a Weight Loss Fantasy. Weight Loss Fantasy is the idea that weight loss, in and of itself, will in fact solve any problem that you need it to. Need a better job? Lose 10 lbs! Need a guy to start paying attention to you? Lose 20lbs! Need better self-esteem? Lose a bunch of weight! Need a better life? Go on a diet and drop a dress size!
In our world today, diets and weight loss are treated as if they were the solution to each and every problem we face on a daily basis. But we have news for you: WEIGHT LOSS WILL NOT SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS!” And that’s because at the end of the day, although the weight may be gone, the person inside still exists (more on this shortly).
A key component of the Weight Loss Fantasy is the idea that weight loss is a solution for better self-esteem. Magazine ads, commercials and popular television shows like the Biggest Loser teach us that when a person loses weight, she/he will automatically feel better about herself/himself. The assumption here is that thinner people feel better about themselves because they look better. And the underlining message is that a huge part of self-esteem comes from appearance. But the idea that weight loss is a solution for better self-esteem is a fallacy, and here’s why…
I have spoken with countless women in my life about issues of body image and self-esteem; fat and thin women, ordinary women and former models, rich women and poor women. And I have yet to find one woman who gets true self-esteem from the way she looks (thin women included). This is mostly because I have yet to meet a woman who is completely satisfied with her body. But it’s partly because our looks are a fickle thing and are not meant to give us the self-esteem we are looking for. So, if thin, beautiful (as defined by our culture) women are even unhappy with the way they look, then how can we say self-esteem comes from a thinner body or appearance in general? By saying weight loss will boost self-esteem we are saying that appearance is a key component to self-esteem. Does anyone else see something wrong with that?
So if you are a victim of Weight Loss Fantasy and you are under the impression that weight loss will help fix your problems and make your life better, I have some bad news for you, it won’t. Sure it might give you a temporary feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Sure you might like who you see in the mirror a little better than you did before. But ultimately, your weight loss won’t make you feel better about who you are. And that’s because real self-esteem comes from a place within us, and has little to do with our appearance. It comes from our ability to accomplish things that matter in this world, it comes from our religious/spiritual faith, it comes from our ability to love others and be loved. It should never come from our reflections in the mirror.
So let’s stop living in Weight Loss Fantasy Land and start dealing with the person inside. Then and only then, will we all find true and lasting self-esteem.
Sry ma huang but what does that mean…”already smacked the fat”..?
Well that’s swell that you licked your candida, francine. I’m sure your book is/will be well-received with a marketing angle focused on your 186-pound weight loss.
maybe it’s candida!
maybe it’s my thyroid!
maybe I have a 65-pound undetected tumor!
please merciful lord cure them of their fatness!
::rolls eyes!::
What is it that gives (you) people any self-esteem besides your low BMI’s?
For me it’s drawing and dancing.
f*%k yeah I can draw and paint. And I love a great dance to a song I really like.
Oh, my bad….Francine is a “licensed obesity counselor” according to her website.
http://www.candidacandida.com/
Naturally as a “licensed obesity counselor” you are invested in getting fat people to pay up and slim down.
This blog entry is about self-esteem, and I’m having a hard time seeing what either of these people (ma huang or francine)’s comments on that topic are.
ma-huang wants us to “smack the fat” and francine wants to sell us weight-loss supplements.
pfft.
Um, “ma huang” is the Chinese name for ephedra. And the web link on that post goes to a site that sells it. So, yeah, that’s comment spam.
I have felt this way a million times if only I was (# of pounds) lighter, all my problems would go away and I would live the life I want. Happily Ever After…
Well I have been lighter and my problems didn’t go away I found myself wanting more and more to be thinner to look “better”. And it didn’t help with getting attention because there is just always people who won’t like you or they just like you for the outside and the relationship is empty. In conclusion this princess learned that beauty does come from spirituality someone who loves you for who you are.
um, ma-huang and ephedra are actually 2 different substances…I’m fairly sure…and I was h*o*p*i*n*g her name was ironic
*heh*
Sometimes I think about people who are seriously ill and lose weight because of their (like, terminal, non-ED-related) illness…all the thin-ness you ever wanted, huh. & they’re in their hospital beds going, I hope I don’t die tomorrow or the next day because I’m scared to die and I don’t know if I’ll miss my life here on earth or not.
They’re not going, w00t! I’m at my lowest weight evarr! too bad they won’t let me wear all those slammin’ outfits here in the ICU!
“By saying weight loss will boost self-esteem we are saying that appearance is a key component to self-esteem. Does anyone else see something wrong with that?”
er, yes. Absolutely. Unfortunately telling women what’s wrong with them is big business (http://irresponsibility.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/11/). Not to mention part of the same twisted logic that makes programmes like “Extreme Makeover” possible. Feel bad about yourself? I know, why don’t you let a (usually male) doctor poke and prod you, tell you what’s ‘wrong’ with you then start cutting off random chunks of flesh? Wake up still the same person inside, with the same insecurities? It must be something wrong with YOU. Better book some lipo…
err, I just realized that I sounded a little snotty in my earlier comment. sorry!
People told me and told me about this part of the wrongness of the WLF/Fantasy of Being Thin, but I think it’s something I just had to experience for myself: you won’t necessarily love your body any more when it’s thinner. I know, duh, right? But I still felt shocked and betrayed when I lost 100 pounds and became fixated on my “huge” thighs. Funny, I don’t remember obsessing about my thighs when I was at my heaviest. And I know this is a very common occurrence. People tried to tell me…
That is what I suffer from so badly. I have convinced myself so many times that if I lost weight I would get a better job, life, partner …just about anything I could imagine. Then I get off on losing weight because I feel like that fantasy is getting closer and closer. But when I finally lose it (like in the past) I still think Im fat and I am still unhappy. This is despite people telling me Im normal and not fat. Argghh.
[...] Dan One of my favorite blogs is Eat a Cheeseburger and they have commented on this blog about the weight loss fantasy. Basically this means that you fantasise that you will be much happier, and everything will work [...]
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