In a society where models are starting their careers as early as age 12 and youth is more highly coveted than ever before, the “hot” older women of the popular show Desperate Housewives help create a new standard of beauty for aging women everywhere proving that you can never be too rich, too thin or too young.
I once overheard a conversation a man was having about his wife who he described as a “senior hottie”. His wife at the time was in her early 60’s (but you really couldn’t tell with all the plastic surgery, she looked like she was in her 40’s) and weighed 98lbs (I know because I also overheard him mention his wife’s weight). Every time she came into the office her hair was done, her nails were perfect, her makeup was flawless and her jeans were falling off of her. This woman to me is the epitome of the desperate housewives phenomena, a senior hottie through and through.
Let me just make clear that the cheeseburger definition of a senior hottie doesn’t necessarily have to be a “senior” technically speaking (which is usually like 55 and up), but quite simply an older women who is young-looking, thin, rich and desirable, in essence, she is “hot”.
I am in no way trying to judge individual women who I think fall under the senior hottie category, nor am I blaming Desperate Housewives for anything, I say all this to point out that now more than ever before there is huge pressure for older women to be young, thin and beautiful.
In fact, there is an increasing amount of older women checking into eating disorder clinics. Now more than ever before older women are turning to eating disorders for one reason or another. I certainly don’t put all the blame on mass media, but I do think it plays some role in the lives of these women.
Although I can’t speak from personal experience about the pressure older women must be under not only to have a thin body but also to remain as youthful-looking as humanly possible, I can say that when I get older I don’t want to allow myself to conform to this pressure. It’s called aging for a reason (meaning we won’t always look like we did at 25), and I intend to do it gracefully. 
Thank you! I am 56, look younger (erm, 55?) and I have been the same size for the past 8 – 10 years (i.e. size 16). I feel as strong a pressure to be thinner as I did 10, 20, and 30 years ago.
Because even at my advanced age, it’s clear that a woman has no value unless she is sexually attractive. Not just to her partner, mind you, but to the world in general.
I want to age gracefully. I want to be known for more than just my ability to attract men. But you are so right about the pressure.
And I don’t watch Desperate Housewives, but not for that reason.
…”a woman has no value unless she is sexually attractive…”
…man, I feel that too and that is a very hard MEME to overcome.
But I can and do reassure myself that there are plenty of other important ways a woman can be ‘valuable’…I usually remind myself of women who came before me and became well-known for their deeds during life, rather than, or sometimes in spite of or in addition to, their perceived physical beauty. Margaret Sanger. Georgia O’keeffe. Flippin’ Fida Kahlo! (who endured a life of physical and emotional pain) Susan Sontag. Sylvia Plath. Margaret Mead. You can bet your sweet @ss that these women were very busy changing the world and perhaps less concerned with their “hotness” than with their own ideas. Frida Kahlo did not wake up in the morning and worry about her unibrow. Hell no. It was too physically painful for her to even get around most of the time! And then in her spare time, when she wasn’t doing Diego Rivera, she still didn’t go for the tweezers. No. She created art.
There is so much in the world to be besides “hot”… I hope to be able to have some sort of impact on the world before my time here is through, and I’d be sincerely disappointed if people only remembered how pretty I was and not thing one about what I’d done in the world or who I was.
I’m 42, btw and I’m not shy about telling anyone, though people usually speculate that I am “younger”.
* ; )
Yeah I thought you were younger, just by your comments and stuff. Happy Birthday!!!
But then you get TV shows like ‘How to look good naked’ which kind of challenges those stereotypes. I cant help but feel that society is ever so slowly changing. I might get raked over the coals for saying this though.
That’s a pretty good show actually, and yes, I do hope you are right about the world slowly changing Dan:-)
I can’t help it. I want to be a senior hottie someday. I’m 31 and wishing like mad i could look half as good as these senior hotties!! Part of the problem is that I feel like I’m in a competition with all the other women of the world… especially the ones that my husband works with. When he was in grad school and doing an assistanship I was determined to be the “hot wife”. I saw all these cute, thin 19 year olds that he was around all the time and my ego went down the drain. So yeah, I felt like I had to compete and be known as the hot wife. Did it work? No. I got pregnant. Twice. So I was the “glowing, pregnant” wife. Heh.
Even now, though, I still feel that competition. You heard this man speaking of his wife, but wasn’t what he was really doing was bragging?? And I bet his wife worked SO hard to look the way she did so he could brag about her and I bet she was also doing it so he wouldn’t be looking at other women and thinking “Why can’t my wife look that good?” I don’t want my husband looking at his coworkers or his students (because let’s face it, we all know of all these teachers throwing everything away to be with their 15 yr old students) and wishing I could look as good as them.
Not giving excuses for anyone’s actions here. Just sharing what goes through my mind. I feel like I can relate to the pressure of these desperate housewives and senior hotties, even though I know my husband is devoted to me. Ugh. And I have years and years left to feel this pressure!!
I’m of several minds on this issue. I have a career that I like, and one in which women not too much older than I am start slowing down, get overlooked for raises and new opportunities (I’m not talking about climing a ladder into management, but just new exciting projects). Age discrimination is alive and well in my workplace and, I’m sure, many others. Consequently, I do all I can not to “look my age”, within reason of course. Primarily I do it with the way I dress and wear my hair, and my attitude. I never mention my age or birthday, and people mostly think I’m about 10 years younger than I am, which is fine with me.
Having said that, I do NOT equate “youthful” with thin, nor am I interested in being “hot” at work. I just want to look energetic and as though I have some good years left in me. And I am actually grateful that in our society, I don’t have to dress like an old lady. As long as I don’t try to look like a teenager, I can dress fashiionably and in a modern style. My mother did not have that luxury.
Much of the issues of people wanting to look young has to do with self-perception. For the majority of us, perception states that we looked best in our say 20s…
As one ages we are exposed to biases based on age, this leads to our thinking that if we were still young (still looked young) that bias would not be happening, hence we strive for a youthful appearance.
People go through events in life like divorces, job losses which lead them to believe it was their appearance that caused the event (this may not even be true). One would probably reflect on a time when one had plenty of relationships, job opportunities, etc., … a younger time.
I have no problems with people wanting to look younger, in the end they are doing it for themselves (or should be). People just need to realize there are limitations as aging occurs and there are safe ways to reach their goals.
I guess all I’m trying to say is if it makes someone feel better to look younger, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I think that probably some individuals place more value personally on being sexually attractive, (i.e. “hot”, right?) no matter what age…tending toward the younger due to simple biochemistry. Our hormones rage when we’re young, so it may be more important to us to ‘look hot’ then, when we are at prime reproductive time. maybe.