As one ages we are exposed to biases based on age, this leads to our thinking that if we were still young (still looked young) that bias would not be happening, hence we strive for a youthful appearance.

People go through events in life like divorces, job losses which lead them to believe it was their appearance that caused the event (this may not even be true). One would probably reflect on a time when one had plenty of relationships, job opportunities, etc., … a younger time.

I have no problems with people wanting to look younger, in the end they are doing it for themselves (or should be). People just need to realize there are limitations as aging occurs and there are safe ways to reach their goals.

I guess all I’m trying to say is if it makes someone feel better to look younger, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Having said that, I do NOT equate “youthful” with thin, nor am I interested in being “hot” at work. I just want to look energetic and as though I have some good years left in me. And I am actually grateful that in our society, I don’t have to dress like an old lady. As long as I don’t try to look like a teenager, I can dress fashiionably and in a modern style. My mother did not have that luxury.

Even now, though, I still feel that competition. You heard this man speaking of his wife, but wasn’t what he was really doing was bragging?? And I bet his wife worked SO hard to look the way she did so he could brag about her and I bet she was also doing it so he wouldn’t be looking at other women and thinking “Why can’t my wife look that good?” I don’t want my husband looking at his coworkers or his students (because let’s face it, we all know of all these teachers throwing everything away to be with their 15 yr old students) and wishing I could look as good as them.

Not giving excuses for anyone’s actions here. Just sharing what goes through my mind. I feel like I can relate to the pressure of these desperate housewives and senior hotties, even though I know my husband is devoted to me. Ugh. And I have years and years left to feel this pressure!!

…man, I feel that too and that is a very hard MEME to overcome.

But I can and do reassure myself that there are plenty of other important ways a woman can be ‘valuable’…I usually remind myself of women who came before me and became well-known for their deeds during life, rather than, or sometimes in spite of or in addition to, their perceived physical beauty. Margaret Sanger. Georgia O’keeffe. Flippin’ Fida Kahlo! (who endured a life of physical and emotional pain) Susan Sontag. Sylvia Plath. Margaret Mead. You can bet your sweet @ss that these women were very busy changing the world and perhaps less concerned with their “hotness” than with their own ideas. Frida Kahlo did not wake up in the morning and worry about her unibrow. Hell no. It was too physically painful for her to even get around most of the time! And then in her spare time, when she wasn’t doing Diego Rivera, she still didn’t go for the tweezers. No. She created art.
There is so much in the world to be besides “hot”… I hope to be able to have some sort of impact on the world before my time here is through, and I’d be sincerely disappointed if people only remembered how pretty I was and not thing one about what I’d done in the world or who I was.

I’m 42, btw and I’m not shy about telling anyone, though people usually speculate that I am “younger”.
* ; )