This week, a blogger published a post that spoke of the dangers of Fat Acceptance in which they mentioned EAC. There are a few things about this thread that I think are important to address:
1) “Having become an ardent reader of these blogs, opinions bounce around my head waiting to be released. Many of these blogs seem to be intolerable of outside opinions so my thoughts/comments remain unpublished, this will serve as my outlet.”
This is a body acceptance blog, which means that it’s not the place to go on rants about dieting tips, obesity statistics, fat hate, etc. (aka “outside opinions”) which is why these types of comments don’t get past moderation. There are tons of other forums/blogs out there to talk about this stuff, but this is not one of them. I think one of the comments in this thread makes a great point about the need for tough moderation among those of us in the Fatosphere. She states:
“Furthermore, the reason that fat acceptance bloggers are so harsh to dissenters is because it’s THEIR blog. It’s their (and their members’ 
space to feel safe and secure; when obnoxious trolls spew vomit about how they’re all fat, ugly c*nts and concerned trolls cry, “we’re only worried about your health,” they invade that space. And that means moderation has to be stiff. Unfortunately, if a comment even sniffs of a troll (regardless of whether it actually is one), moderators delete it to protect their blog’s sanctity.”
I think she makes the point perfectly. This is our blog, it is a diet-free zone, and it is a fat phobic-free zone. We make it very clear on our How to Eat A Cheeseburger guidelines what we will allow through moderation and what we won’t. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with new diets, weight loss tricks and endless articles about health and weight, this is a place to fight against all of that in our own way. So, yeah, we don’t allow a lot of comments through moderation and it’s our prerogative to do so.
2) “From reading some of the comments in those fat acceptance websites… the message of living well is not being promoted. Simply being satisfied is. Satisfaction may be fine for adults not willing to change but in children it can lead to complacency which can be extremely dangerous later in life.” (This was not from the original post but a comment about the post by the poster).
I am not a professional blogger and I don’t get paid to do this. This is volunteer time that I put in to talk about what I’ve learned in order to help people to live better lives free of dieting and the pressure to be thin(ner) if that is what they desire for themselves. I am not interested in giving people diet, nutritional or exercise tips…there are a plethora of other blogs, websites, television shows, radio programs, (and the list goes on) out there to do that. So, I think I AM promoting a message of living well in my own way, and those who like the message of this blog tell me that on a daily basis (privately and publicly) and these include people of all sizes.
Also, ever hear of something called HAES?
3) But to me, here is the real danger of a post like this one: I noticed that EAC was getting quite a few hits from a random site so I went to check it out. What I found was a forum and in it a person who was making the other forum members aware of the FA movement. The person linked the “Dangers of Fat Acceptance” article and then linked one of EAC’s articles. Following the post in this forum were pages and pages of fat hate comments (which is why I have chosen not to link the forum here).
So what is the danger of posting about the dangers of FA? It leads to more fat hate. I realize that the author meant only to post about a few things that she/he did not agree with in her/his own personal space, which is totally understandable. It’s totally his/her prerogative to do so. But the dangers in publishing a post like this one are that instead of starting a healthy debate, it leads to fat hate and random, unproductive rants by people who probably haven’t the slightest idea of what they are talking about. Furthermore, its a personal pain because I have to spend more of my time spamming fat hate comments and the like which are mostly comprised of people calling me “fatty.”
So I’m sorry if your comments don’t get past our moderation queue but there is a reason for that. Its so we can protect the “sanctity” of this body acceptance space and that is not something we are willing to budge on. There are too many people (of all sizes) in this world who are silently suffering in their own skin and we hope that when they stumble upon our blog, they can find hope and begin a journey of turning their noses to the media and learn to love who they are. So if you don’t like the message of body acceptance and find it dangerous, I suggest new reading material.
(NOTE: I am getting on a plane in less than 24hrs and I am currently the only active mod for EAC, so if you don’t see your comment get through right away its probably because I can’t get to it, but I will by Thursday, August 14th @ 11pm EST. Thanks for your patience:-)
Good call!!!!!!! Just remember that there may be a lot of people out there that dont like what you are saying but there are a lot of people who gain a lot from your blog, including me!
I guess I never thought of this as a Fat Acceptance blog. When I tell my friends about it, I tell them I’m reading this Body Acceptance blog. I still want to lose weight, but this blog is helping me to realize the difference between wanting to lose a few pounds and starving myself in an effort to fit some kind of unrealistic mold. Maybe I’m only reading into it what I want, but I don’t think so.
Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the Children?!111?1!
That has got to be my all time most love-to-hate it, you’ve got to be kidding me, response to FA.
Because all that teaching me, the fat kid, that my body WASN’T ok, and that I had to diet and exercise (repeat, more and more stringently until death) to change it, did nothing but good for me! And it made me thin and happy!!!
Snort.
Ok, but even if you believe I’m just a lazy-ass bad seed all grown up, the current attitude toward fat bodies isn’t changing them AT ALL. The fact that no matter how much kids are taught to hate fat, some of them INSIST on growing up that way should set off a few faint glimmers of sanity.
If all you want is to make people less fat, you’ve got to come with a new plan, ’cause the current one isn’t working.
If, however, you make fat kids (and thin ones, too, for that matter) feel like they are valuable and acceptable as they are–in short self-esteem without the mind-f*%$ing “but still lose a few pounds” addendum, you might find that those fat kids are more like to do things like exercise (sanely) and eat (sanely) and be as healthy as possible. Hate and fear of the self is rarely healthfully motivating.
I also like: “Many of these blogs seem to be intolerable of outside opinions” Of course, the writer means “intolerant.” I don’t know if it makes much sense as written, but it just brings that certain je ne sais qoius….
Yes Sariah, we consider ourselves a Body Acceptance blog (which means bodies of all sizes) as I stated in the end of the post and in our About section.
I think body acceptance is/should encompass fat acceptance. And in all my life through all my diets and crazy exercise programs, I never really started treating my body well until I started becoming involved with FA. I no longer look at physical activity as a horrible chore that I dread and feel guilt about if I don’t do it, now I see it as a hobby and something that makes me feel good. I get that a lot, when I talk about FA. Unfortunately some of my closest friends have had the nerve to comment on my personal blog that FA gives people “cart blanche to get complacent” about their bodies/health. One said of course you should be happy with your body, but she’s never known anyone who was healthy that wasn’t size 2-14. All in the same entry I was told I was unhealthy, a liar, and basically delusional. I since then have enacted a comments policy myself, and I told her. Look, You have a right to your opinion, but this is my blog and if you’re not going to respect the way that I choose to live then you’re not welcome here. I personally appreciate that there are safe spaces for me to go to to learn and discuss without threat of harassment.
“From reading some of the comments in those fat acceptance websites… the message of living well is not being promoted. Simply being satisfied is. Satisfaction may be fine for adults not willing to change but in children it can lead to complacency which can be extremely dangerous later in life.”
I think that this is the part that annoyed me the most. Living in a constant state of discontent is not what makes people change. Yes, occassionally, it may start you on a path of change, but if you are never satisfied, than eventually you are going to give up because all your hard work won’t make any difference; you will still be unhappy with the results. And I think we all know too well that if you are living a life where you don’t feel anything if ever good enough, there will never be a magical point where suddenly everything will be acceptable.
Fat acceptance…body acceptance…self acceptance…hell, life acceptance, is not about throwing in the towel: it is about focusing on living the best life possible. When I was in dieting and eating disorder hell, my life was empty. I was always trying to make my body “better” (which really just meant smaller), and as a result I never bothered to enjoy the life or the body I had. Now, I don’t turn down every activity that involves being seen because I’m afraid I’m not worthy of being seen. For the first time, I see myself crossing things off my list of goals, because I believe I am good enough to accomplish them.
So yeah, if that is the kind of “complacency” that being satisfied produces…please, count me in
a) I agree with Elizabeth 100% regarding how super-effective it was to put me on diets and teach me to hate my body from a young age, because it totally made me thin and didn’t screw up my relationship with food at all (eyeroll).
b) I can’t even count the number of times I have heard people claim that health and nutrition are not being discussed within FA or are not a priority in the movement. This is just plain not true–HAES, exercise, nutrition, discussions about recipes containing fruits and veggies, etc. come up ALL THE TIME. From what I have seen, most FA-ers are very concerned about their health and it shows in the discussion. I’ve come to the conclusion that these people just write some narrative about FA in their heads and then respond to that rather than what they actually see in the FA blogosphere. It just doesn’t make sense otherwise that we keep hearing the same completely untrue accusations and “dangers” over and over and over again.
gawwddamm….I, for one, am so happy to have EAC on my daily reading list!
Silly fat-haters.
Can’t they find something else to be so devoted to? Have they never loved a person who wasn’t physically perfect? Have they never felt compassion for a human being simply for all the awesome qualities that person has inside…a tender heart, a wicked sense of humor, the ability to teach things to others….?
Why does someone’s fat body trigger so much OPEN disgust and disrespect?
And why do people accepting and defending fatness and variety of shape deserve to be the brunt of so much MORE hate? In my view, parents should be much more concerned in today’s world that their kids might grow up to be callous and self-centered.
And: we are at war.
Would you rather wake up and fret about your BMI or wake up and be thankful your house wasn’t bombed last night? In other, less fortunate parts of the world, that is real.
“Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” ~ rev. dr. Martin Luther King jr.
I consider my own blog one of Body Acceptance because I know women of all sizes who spend way too much time hating their bodies… my only concern amongst the FA blogs is that they don’t always take that aspect into consideration.
That said, thin people are generally NOT discriminated against and us “fatties” are, so from that angle, I support FA 100%. This post and the comments just made me angry. They don’t get it, and most of them don’t want to. It’s much easier to believe the status quo that thin=good and healthy and fat=bad and unhealthy.
Woohoo! I’ve been quoted! Thanks for the kudos.
“But the dangers in publishing a post like this one are that instead of starting a healthy debate, it leads to fat hate and random, unproductive rants by people who probably haven’t the slightest idea of what they are talking about.”
To me, that’s exactly what ended up happening. You’re like, clairvoyant or something.
When WILL I learn? Dropped in, read your post, linked to the other and figured, ‘Well, here’s an opportunity to discuss F/A from the stand-point for someone who’s not clear on what this movement is trying to do. Someone who, at least appears to have honest questions and might actually, just want to know. Added my poor little attempt at explanation and waited to see what interesting things might come up. What did we get? Same crap, different flavor.
We’ve already had the quote surgeons parsing every syllable, and the Lifestyle Change guru’s. Now the general rabble is starting to show up with, ‘Fatty must be lying about what s/he stuffs in his /her piehole’ and ‘Their all delusional/defective/lazy/stupid, comments The Why-can’t they-eat-healthy Secrete Police should be in next to let us know that It’s all for our own good, and the Calories in = Calories Out cultists should arrive soon after that. Of course, we all know how closely Trolls tend to follow behind this lot.
TiffyB, you called it coming out of the gate. Shoulda’ listened.
The reason these losers are so angry is because the stereotypes of fat people are being broken by the majority of FA blogs.
Go ahead, call me fatty. I don’t give a damn. I fat, and I’m not changing for anybody. And that’s what really pisses ‘em off.
After reading all the madness that suddenly ensued, I am SO glad that I showed up before the crazy fat haters. I may have convinced the original poster in time. o_O
“I’ve come to the conclusion that these people just write some narrative about FA in their heads and then respond to that rather than what they actually see in the FA blogosphere.”
There’s enough variety in the FA movement that people might be missing some aspects of it if they’re just casually browsing. People sometimes have a similar problem differentiating between “all sex is rape” feminism and “we’d just like equal rights and pay” feminism. The problem comes in when people just say “That’s not what feminism is!” and write them off as angry trolls instead of trying to clarify things.
Most of the people in the comments over there (including myself) came from a thread on another site that started out discussing thesugarmonster’s livejournal, and has since moved on to talking about random blog posts. There are only one or two people actually posting links, so it’s entirely likely that there’s confirmation bias going on, but it is still coming from sources that identify themselves as part of the FA movement.
I applaud what you are doing for acceptance of all body types. However, I do find it hypocritical that you feel that it is acceptable to tell a thin girl to “eat a cheeseburger.” Some girls are naturally thin, and it hurts to be called “skinny” or “scrawny” just as much as it hurts to be called “fat.” Other girls are thin because they starve themselves, and they need more help than to be callously told “eat a cheeseburger!” They are sad, unhealthy people, and should not be made fun of.
Thanks for reading. My regards to you.
Arvay, I had the same thoughts originally. But then I checked out the About page, and I changed my mind. I think the purpose of the title is to remind everyone that’s it’s okay to eat, even in a thincentric society… not to callously make fun of people who are thinner.
Thanks for the response, dollyann. Telling people that it’s okay to eat is an admirable goal, though it’s sad that our society even requires it. Eating is one of the most joyful things in life, IMHO.
Agreed!
I’d just like to say, from what I suppose could be considered the “Other Side of the Arguement*” that i found this blog very thought provoking and well written. The strength of community here should be applauded not mocked, and if this has happened then I should imagine those responsible find the ideas to complex to process. I wish you much happiness.
*although perhaps not, given that my perception of body image is a symptom rather than an opinion.
tks for the effort you put in here I appreciate it!
Hi all,
New to the forum, just thought I’d introduce myself