On Sunday, I was in a public restroom and overheard a couple of ladies talking in between stalls about one of the women’s recent weight loss. I came in mid-conversation but it sounded to me like they were talking about the weight watchers point system and how one of them was trying to stay within her weight loss goal “range” so that she could keep her lifetime membership. She was confessing her fears about going to her in –laws house for labor day because she didn’t want to “over do it” and, thus, push her luck with her weight loss goal range. The other woman congratulated her on her weight loss and encouraged her to keep up the great work, to which the woman who had lost weight responded, “Well, thanks. I’m no size 0 or anything, but I never will be.” And her friend responded, “Size 0 is overrated.”
The first thing that struck me as interesting is how normal weight/weight loss/size talk is in general. These women felt at ease talking about a fairly private issue in a totally public restroom. In fact, it seems like we women (and more and more men) can talk about weight issues for hours and hours. We just never seem to grow tired of it. I think one of the reasons is because weight /weight loss talk is a form of validation for many of us. In my pre-cheeseburger days, I wanted to talk about my weight, my current pant sizes, my workouts at the gym and my diet because I liked to hear what others had to say about it. When I heard “Oh good job with working out” or “Oh you’re so skinny, you don’t need to watch what you eat,” it somehow made my twisted world feel a little bit more complete. For me, it was a form of validation. It made me feel like I was doing something right. So in a real sense, I was gaining confidence from other people’s perception of my body, which is the very thing this blog is against. (See Rule # 14).
The second thing I find interesting about this conversation is the Size 0 part of the discussion. The first thing I thought to myself was, “Is Size 0 the standard of perfection or something?” This woman talks about her weight loss as a triumphant goal and then proceeds to downgrade it by admitting that she is no Size 0. Again, I want to make clear that I am not thin-bashing or trying to hate on Size 0 women. I am only pointing out the lunacy in this woman using size 0 as a measure for something (or any size for that matter).
Body/Size Acceptance is about throwing this idea that one size is better than another out the window (See Body Acceptance Is…). So it’s not that Size 0 in and of itself is overrated; it’s that size labeling in general is overrated. I would like to think that one day we can live in a world where the quality of your life and the validation of your person has nothing to do with the size of your pants.
“So it’s not that Size 0 in and of itself is overrated; it’s that size labeling in general is overrated. I would like to think that one day we can live in a world where the quality of your life and the validation of your person has nothing to do with the size of your pants.”
Brilliant! Size labelling in general: just another way to keep us all more focused on the relative girth of our outfits instead of more important matters in the world. Well said!
Probably showing my age here, but when I was a teenager, size 8 was the “perfect” size and my grandmother talks about the day when she was a “perfect” size 14.
The perfect size is dropping like a rock!
Curvy Angela, I don’t know how old you are, but it was the same when *I* was a teenager. I would have done just about ANYTHING to be a size 8.
Heh.
NOW a size 8 is considered “plus size”.
The world has collectively gone insane, I tell you. I-N-S-A-N-E!!!!
You just can’t win – women talk about size 0 like it’s perfection, but when I was growing up (and could fit into a size 0), I got nothing but criticism and insults from other people. Girls my own age, boys, my gym teacher, strangers on the street – they all repeatedly conveyed to me the message that my weight was not okay, my body was unpleasant for them to look at, and that I needed to gain weight in order to be okay.
Well, I weigh more now but I can still fit into a size 0. I don’t feel bad about it anymore, but not because I get positive feedback from people. I still get more negative feedback than positive.
Isn’t it ridiculous? Nothing is ever good enough – people will always find something wrong with the way you look.
How many people can naturally maintain a size 0 anyway? If we each were at our healthy weights (meaning what our bodies “want” to weigh), then we would have a variety of sizes. Most people wouldn’t be a size 0, or a size 30 for that matter. Most people are somewhere in between. It’s so sad that people can’t accept their bodies just as they are, and instead long for a completely unattainable ideal.
When I was a teenager, you were at a perfect size if you could shop at the 5-7-9 clothing store. And of course, the Sweet Valley High twins were a “perfect size 6.” Pretty soon, the “perfect” size will be negative numbers.
It’s a shame that while women logically know that they may never be a size 0, it doesn’t seem to stop them from trying anyway.
Sadly, I looked at that picture and my first (quite irrational) thought was, “I’ll never look that beautiful.”
Isn’t it horrible how women essentially rate themselves based on weight? If you’re thinner than another female, you feel “superior”; if you’re heavier, you feel deserving of nothing. We’re a sick culture. And it’s getting sicker, I’m afraid. Sigh.
When I was a teenager and size 8 was ‘perfect’ I was a size 8. Of course, I constantly bemoaned my lack of boobage.
No matter what your size, there’s a reason your body is ‘wrong’ if you listen to society’s bizarre and narrow version of ‘beautiful.’
The funny thing is, once you let go of the labels, it’s amazing how beautiful bodies of all sizes and shapes can be.
no number at all… “I am nothing”….zero…!
~ whoa! ~ “size zero” was only just recently invented, I’m pretty sure. Like within the past 15 – 20 years or less.
Can you imagine if we as a society deified something else random, like, FOOT SIZE….women would have crutches as status symbols when their feet were so tiny they couldn’t support the woman’s weight anymore….
“Oh darling! Your feet are looking especially tiny!”
“Yes, I’ve gone down another half-size since summertime.”
::limps across room in horrible tiny shoes::
Size zero.
I’ve heard there’s even size “double zero” – is that right..?
Why don’t we just go for broke and start having NEGATIVE sizing? Then some chick will make history when a black hole emerges in place of her waistline and she is sucked into an alternate universe by the power of her own negative size…
* ; D
lol, “then some chick will make history when a black hole emerges in place of her waisline and she is sucked into an alternate universe by the power of her own negative size…” Just what I was looking for. Hilarious but all so powerful in painting the problem that exist in this whole, “I must be thin or die” crap.
I first heard of size zero in 1984, when a tiny tiny little girl wore it. I didn’t even know there was such a thing – despite generally being rail thin, I was still size 4 or 5 or so. She was about the same exact proportions I was, but a lot shorter. I guess it’s not the same anymore though.
“Can you imagine if we as a society deified something else random, like, FOOT SIZE….women would have crutches as status symbols when their feet were so tiny they couldn’t support the woman’s weight anymore….
“Oh darling! Your feet are looking especially tiny!”
“Yes, I’ve gone down another half-size since summertime.”
::limps across room in horrible tiny shoes::”
Well, that’s exactly what they had in China before the revolution. Women crippled for life by footbinding and wearing the tiniest little shoes you can imagine. Or being deformed by corsets in the west. It never begins or ends, I don’t think.
By the way I know there’s a size double-zero because my daughter wears it whenever she drops a size. Which is generally whenever she’s away from home. However, looking at her proportions I honestly think they have vanity-sized zeros and double-zeros (I don’t know when) because she’s not THAT skinny.
I agree with hope505…why size 0? Are people trying to get to the mental 0 to disappear altogether, because they are so unhappy with themselves? I think the girl in the photo is way too skinny.
Hope, you can joke about it, but for many years that WAS the standard of beauty in China. Girls permanently crippled themselves for the “perfect” 2 1/2 inch-long ‘golden lotus’ foot. They had to break every bone in their feet to do it, but it was considered beautiful, and so for ten centuries Chinese women bound their feet. The foot was considered the sole determinant of beauty, since the saying was that a girl couldn’t choose her face or the shape of her body, but she could show her true character and will in the size to which she chose to bind her feet.
Strange, that such a sadistic practice could be linked to what seems like an enlightened sentiment (you can’t choose your body or face, so maybe we should judge beauty on something you can choose). It’s just unfortunate that the standard they selected instead of body shape required such tremendous pain for girls.
When I was a teenager, I actually thought that my size 4 was a little too large. All the popular girls were 0 or 2. I can’t believe now what a poisonous environment that was (hello, private school).
I appreciate the even-handedness of this post, and I think you’ve made nothing but good points here.
I may be weird, but back in my dieting days I NEVER wanted to talk about it. I didn’t want to admit to anyone that I was dieting. Maybe on a subconscious level I knew it was not a good thing. And I still avoid discussions of weight. If someone brings it up I just don’t respond. Pretty much kills the topic.
Hi, I have nothing really to say, but I just found this site and think it rules! And I thought you should know
Joye ~ exactly so. Thank you for elaborating on that historical reference…& tolerance for my dystopian example…
Speaking of dystopian examples
I wonder why, with the rampant desire to be “size zero”, there isn’t more mainstream popularity with, say, corsetry?
hmm.
You just don’t hear of very many girls or women using corsets these days…I guess it’s been replaced by SPANX *haha!*
so funny/sad you bring this up. while picking up my sister from high school yesterday, which actually goes grades kindergraden – 12, I overheard three very young girls (couldn’t have been older than 11) validating each other’s thinnest. Two of them proudly exclaimed they were size 0s but they really should start working out and started talking about diets!
This was disgusting to me, throughout ALL of my school years, I never worried about weight or diet. Yes, I was a 0 way back then, lol, and yes, that is exactly why weight issues were the furthest thing from my mind! I felt like shaking these poor girls and knocking some sense into. My daily diet used to be complete JUNK. I wanted to tell them to pig out, have fun and live life, seriously THIS is the time for them.
I asked my sister was this common at her all-girls prep school, and she said very. I think that is so sad and dangerous… if my generation thinks 0 is prefect, I don’t want to know what’s next… or maybe hot curves will make a comeback?
It’s strange. I was trying on clothes. I’m between a size 2 and 4 at the moment in most designers. I put on a size 0. I knew it would be tight, but it felt strange to wear a size 0, uncomfortable, muffin-top, etc, for a minute or two. It’s vanity – plus curiosity about the size 0. Size 0 is a fairly new phenomenon.
When I was growing up, I wore a size 8 at around the same weight that I am now. My best guess would be that size today are two sizes larger than they were when I was a teen. I think today’s 4 is the 1970s 8. I know that I was called fat when I wore a 10 in the seventies and early eighties by my peers, family, physicians, etc and dieted and exercised like crazy to be able to wear an 8.