Posts Tagged ‘Crazy Things People Say’

This is a phrase we use a lot around here so we thought we would finally go ahead and make it an official rule. This rule was inspired by an unfortunate incident I had with an acquaintance of mine. Last night, I was with a group of women who I haven’t really seen in a while. One of the women grabbed my arm and said “Have you been eating ham hocks or something?” I was seriously confused by her comment and really didn’t know what she meant. (Afterall, I thought she knew that I don’t even eat ham.) She perceived my confusion and clarified, “You’ve put on some weight.” I was stunned. It’s been so long since someone has made a comment about my body that I really didn’t know what to say.

I stumbled over my words, shrugged my shoulders and finally said “Oh, I don’t really care.” With a look of embarrassment on her face, she then attempted to relate to me on the issue, “I know I have. I’ve gained about five pounds or so.” I then thought, “Wait! Is she still talking to me about this? I thought my cold response would have effectively ended the conversation.” As we were all leaving our friends house she continued with telling a story about how a co-worker of hers had recently lost about 40 or 50 pounds by simply “working out more.” She sounded almost envious of her co-workers weight loss which was super confusing to me because she herself recently lost 40 or 50 pounds this past year. I guess she wanted to lose more.

In retrospect, I really wish I would have been more on my toes and quick-witted. I would have said a few things that would have made her head spin. But I was so shocked by her comment that I didn’t know what to say. Many of my comments in the Crazy Things People Say Thread were made to me a long time ago. I just hadn’t experienced it in so long, it rendered me completely speechless.

In reality, I have gained probably about five lbs since I last saw this person. So the fact that she even noticed that I had gained weight is peculiar. Is she really looking that hard? Is it really that important to her?

I share this story to illustrate the point that we have been trying to make all along on this blog: WEIGHT IS NOT A PUBLIC ISSUE!!!!! And besides the fact that comments like these are incredibly rude and offensive, they are also potentially dangerous. Despite the many times that I have shared with this person that I have suffered with body image issues my entire life (and a pseudo eating disorder at one point), she still felt comfortable enough to just say what she saw: I’ve been eating more, I’ve gained weight.

I think the reason people feel so comfortable making comments about other peoples bodies is that at every turn we are bombarded with weight loss commercials, diet pills, weight loss foods, gym advertisements, reality shows highlighting weight loss, etc. So it gets embedded in our minds that weight is something we should all be openly talking about and encouraging each other to lose more of.

It never even occurred to this person that maybe I didn’t think gaining five pounds was such a big deal, or maybe that I might have even been trying to gain it. In our society’s worldview, the idea that weight gain is not a big deal, a life crisis or something that one might be trying to achieve is completely ludicrous. And that’s because we don’t know anything different and many of us don’t want to know anything different. Thinner is better is all we know and all we want to know. And within this mentality, any weight gain is bad and means that you are effectively on your way to being “fat.”

I have a message to all of you crazies out there: PLEASE stop making comments about peoples bodies! It’s none of your business! My weight, my body and my pants size is none of your business. It’s not ok to just say whatever comes to your mind when it comes to someone else’s body. Stop projecting your neurotic need to be a size 4 on me!

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We encounter it all the time. Some person comes up to you and makes a comment about your body, weight or size. Maybe this person says something that hurts you, maybe he/she says something that leaves you really confused. I’ve heard a lot of crazy things in my life, things said to me and things said to people I know. So I thought we could dedicate this thread to crazy things people say in hopes that we will no longer let the things people say hurt us but rather laugh and make fun of those crazy comments.

I’ll start…(Please note that not all of these comments were made to me, but some of them were said to some of my friends or family, who relayed them to me).

“You’re not as BIG as you used to be!” (Mind you I was underweight at the time of this comment and have never been more than a Size 8 in my entire life).

“That shirt makes you look pregnant.”

“Hey you should go on the Biggest Loser! That might really help you.”

“You should just wear dresses.”

“Did you lose weight? You look so much better.”

“Wow! Those jeans look really baggy on you, good for you.”

“Are you losing weight? You’re getting so much prettier!”

“Don’t get any bigger.”

I think part of the reason people think that they can just say whatever about another person’s body is because we are being taught on a daily basis that weight is a public issue. We see it on television commercials, magazines and all kinds of advertisements. It is embedded into the fabric of so many of our conversations and it is a part of our collective consciousness. So, the next time people say something semi-insulting (or totally insulting) about your body, you might want to take the time to point out to them that their comments are crazy and they should find another topic.

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